I began the first day of school with a confetti of cockroach bits that my office air conditioner spat out, and the second day with an extended space cadet moment that caused me to miss my stop and end up in Marikina.

And then, according to this, which I got as pasalubong from Manchester Man over the holidays and finally put up last night, an extra centimeter would make me as tall as John Keats, an extra two Judi Dench, and an extra three Kylie Minogue.

But, as is, I am as tall as Danny DeVito.

Yeah, yeah, world. Whatevs.