In Manila, I spend an inordinate amount of time around copy machines.

In the cheap hotel, I peel an apple with a Swiss knife.

In my childhood bedroom, I weep over an unpresentable pincushion made for sewing class.

In Bali, I am too embarrassed to say no to a manicure.

In Makati, I take off my heels and slip into flats.

In the coffee shop, I write the incriminating postcard.

In the ballet studio, I am amused by my catastrophic pirouettes.

In Chicago, I attempt to mimic an old roommate’s unidentifiable accent.

In Bangkok, I am addressed in Chinese.

In the computer room, I read the signs.

In the government office, I apologize for the errors on the form.

In Bellagio, I am mistaken for the writing resident’s companion.

In the arctic conference room, I am intrigued by the red telephone.

In Los Angeles, I am thought to be Mexican.

In the elevator, I smile at the child drooling in its stroller.

In Rome, I am unfazed by the transport strike.

In Palawan, I take my lunch with a bottle of cerveza.

In the rickety cable car, I admit to my unforgivable condescension.

In Singapore, I think of Cubao in June.

In Venice, I watch a poodle sashay toward an ice cream shop.

In the library, I hunt in sequence, from PN to PQ to PR.

In my office, I am annoyed by privilege on display in texts about travel.

In Boracay, I try to appreciate the Victorian wallpaper.

In the taxi, I am asked an unnerving question.

In Mandaluyong, I admire a strongly worded memo.

In Sendai, I distract myself by painting flowers on a handkerchief.

In Brisbane, I am thrilled to spot an actor whose movies I abhor.

In the theater, I am envious of the protagonist’s impeccable posture.

In New York City, I procrastinate.

In church, I calculate the costs of moving to a bigger apartment.

In the balcony, I doze during a mellow card game.

In Dumaguete, I affectionately decline phone sex at two in the morning.

In the clinic, I am pressured by the clerk to hyphenate.

In Florence, I lose a coat.

In the allegedly ghost-ridden hallway, I am hungry after making out.

In Binondo, I reject my companion’s dining choices.

In Paris, I purchase tokens for a five-minute shower.

In Amsterdam, I am seized by an uncharacteristic confusion over left and right.

In Cleveland, I excuse myself from the exasperating religious debate over dinner.

In Tokyo, I am asked to produce too many identification cards to have my money changed.

In the hole in the wall, I wear my interlocutor’s sunglasses.

In Cubao, I call into question the sparseness of my wardrobe.

In the supermarket, I comfort myself in the aisle devoted to cleaning agents.

In Baguio, I eat a macaroon.

In Antipolo, I learn to make a rosary, a macramé belt, and a hand-sewn apron.

In Pittsburgh, I adopt a cat.

In the waiting room, I judge the painting on the wall.

In the bungalow by the beach, I indulge in the delusion of a miniature herb garden.

In Davao, I despair over the malfunctioning keycard.

In Los Baños, I am told to keep my voice down.

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